The memoirs of Ayeris_the_unsane

Update

2009-03-16T10:49:51Z

Ok, long time since i've been here - almost three months.
while the unofficial reason for that is everybodies current addiction to facebook, the official reason is that nothing interesting has happened in my life recently.

thats a lie now, just got back from a concert at the auckland town hall, with serj tankian [of system of a down fame] playing with the auckland philharmonic orchestra. It was indescribably awesome!

Probably a trained result of hollywood movies etc, but generally i find that orchestral music short circuits my brain and cuts straight to my emotions - as a result the concert was charged for me, and i thouroughly enjoyed it.

I also liked his choice to intersperse his set pieces with classical pieces by armenian composers, but thats heavily influenced by the fact that i like that anyway. Other people milage varied immensely - seeing the hard rockers grumble through a classical piece and then obligingly clap at the end was pretty amusing.

Apart from that, as i said, not much going on. the new site is finally launched, although its not running at full capacity yet - a situation that isn't helped by me taking a long weekend in auckland, but i regret nothing! getting it up and running [not to mention nearly getting it up and running, then pulling out at the last second!] was pretty stressfull, but its great to have that behind me now

anyway, its late, i'm bleary and a little deaf atm, i need sleep.

Goodwill

2008-12-18T23:40:30Z

OK, long time no post... seems that everyones relying heavily on facebook these days [boo, facebook]

Anyway, as people seem to be aware, this christmas, the 'christmas spirit' is sorely lacking. I know I've been having a hard time caring [or indeed remembering its christmastime].

The other day i remarked to someone that commercialism had grown like a rata [or another parasitic plant, although probably not mistletoe] around the sturdy trunk of christmas, silently killing it and supplanting it. And not the economy's gone pear shaped, killing the commercialism-rata and showing the lifeless christmas-trunk left inside.

But anyway, today i found this story. Its maybe not christmas themed [although its surely one of those holiday 'human interest' stories], but its heartwarming. Its nice to think that there aer still good people out there, especially ones who can keep it up for a year. and that are willing to dedicate that much effort to remaining anonymous as they intended.

It appeals to me on a variety of levels, and i just thought i'd share it to air out the bah humbugs.

Everyone have a merry christmas [eve]⁶

new thought patterns

2008-11-17T07:25:42Z

Disclaimer:
The following is primarily an attempt to record a coherent idea of how my brain is right now.
It may also be one giant overplayed metaphor designed to make me feel pseudo-intellectual...
It should probably be taken with a grain of salt, as its veracity is limited by my powers of self deception.
also, it got quite wordy

When I was in primary school there was a kid who's mother had been in an a car accident. They used to get her in to talk about the importance of wearing seatbelts. The accident left her with brain damage - basically formatting her brain so she had to learn how to do everything again.

I feel a bit like that myself. I feel that somewhere along my developmental path, probably somewhere between the end of primary school and the middle of high school I forgot a crucial skill, which I'm just now regaining.
Through the parts of highschool I can clearly remember, and through university I treated information like a toddler treats blocks. Brightly coloured, interesting in a detatched kind of way, and ... uh... testable via tasting? (maybe I'm stretching this a bit thin. Or maybe I'm talking about my experimental cookery?). Within the past few weeks I've begun to remember how to rotate information in my head, rather than simply collect it, and began to re-experience the joy of realising that if you hold the red piece sideways, it fits into the star shaped hole.

I can remember treating information dynamically as a kid, so I wonder why and where I lost the ability?
I actually really hope that this is the beginning of the creative spark I was looking for in fourth year and postgrad (and I certainly wonder at how I managed to gain two degrees and a diploma using knowledge in brute-force ways).
Needless to say, I'm quite worried about regressing... and like deja vu I only recognise familiar ground when I tread it, so I hope that I can continue to remember, learn and develop it, rather than passing through it like a phase.

Just in case you forgot how awesome the world is

2008-11-07T09:03:26Z

Check out the existence of Miracle Fruit!
Wikipedia expands your brain!

How awesome is that?

been a while

2008-10-28T09:57:49Z

greetings to all of you out in internet land
I thought i should post and say that I too, for better or worse, am still alive.

Not that I've been up to much really. Between getting my car going and lovely sunny weekends and holidays I've been exploring far and near. There are some great places in wellington where you can stand on a hilltop and stand steadfast against the wind if you have a tendancy to try and feel dramatic like I do. I wish i had long hair, or a proper long coat that i could stand to wear now its summer... that would complete the illusion nicely.

Beyond that, I've been getting physio for my knee, which is apparently nicely ganked due to 23 years of not realising i have flat feet [I'm still not neccissarily convinced]. So between physio sessions and stringing les mills along through their trial offer [no way am i actually signing up!] theres been a lot of physical exercise to.

Oh yeah, and dancing twice a week on top of that. man, what happened to me? I used to be cool...

Above and beyond that, I went and saw a play this evening, based on apollo 13. Its tentatively interactive, although theres really just too many people in the audience to pull it off. Even so, they get a million and one points for props! Sitting us in a vaguely replica of the mission control consoles.
If your in wellington, have $20 to spare, and want at worst some drama, and at best some role-playing, i reccommend it!

Anyway, this is getting wordy, so i'm gonna cut short now...

see you all soon

(piiiiiipe wreennnch fiiight)

2008-10-13T07:18:18Z

I'm finding this hilarious right now...

There was a video, but it didnt like linking, so you can see it here

update

2008-10-08T22:12:49Z

So. Here I am at work....

what am I doing? I'm eating boysenberry and chocolate cheesecake, and listening to Neil Gaiman read his new book (http://www.mousecircus.com/videotour.aspx)...
Isn't it tragic?

I have to say, sometimes I truly do love my work

ayeristheunsane @ 2008-10-07T23:14:00

2008-10-07T09:04:49Z

I totally had something to post about earlier today...
Something wanky and pretentious, so that people would actually think i was cultured or something...

but i've totally forgotten it now, so you guys don't have to humor me.

why did i even post this? good question. i just really need to get words out of my head

Utilitarian

2008-09-30T04:25:44Z

Please let this become a fasion trend - a wide variety of clothes lovingly crafted from that marvellous invention, duct tape.

Ana, this ones for you. I'm not mistaken in thinking thats a replica of Mr. the Stampede's am I?
link

music meme

2008-09-24T11:02:52Z

Good Luck

* Put your music player on random.
* Post the first line from the first 32 songs that play.
* Let everyone guess what song and artist the lines come from.
* Bold the songs when someone guesses correctly.
* Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING!

1 Walk with phantoms
2 Just three miles from the rest stop
3 Music box / won't you - Tadpole - Music Box
4 I would swallow my pride - Eve 6 - Inside out
5 Crazy, but I believe this time
6 Lay awake / I don't give a shit
7 Don't you say / Its too early
8 This is my life / Its not what it was before
9 This is my lullaby
10 I've got two strong arms - Nik kershaw - The Riddle
11 Somewhere they're speaking
12 Why does it feel like night today?
13 To all those people doing lines / dont do it
14 Your cynical and beautiful / you always make a scene - Goo Goo Dolls - Dizzy
15 she's lost in coma where its beautiful - Orgy - Fiction
16 put your clock back for the winter - Shihad - Home again
17 I used to do lots of things - Darcy Clay - Jesus I was evil
18 Well I believe theres someone watching over you
19 One day / we will take the body parts
20 This time when I feel myself open up / Even though I don't want to
21 Because we can can can! - Fatboy Slim - Because we can
22 Its the perfect time of year / somewhere far away from here - Barenaked Ladies - Pinch Me
23 Just cuz i know where she lives - Goodshirt - Sophie
24 I was so high I did not recognise - Maroon 5 - This Love
25 All my friends / alone on a hill
26 What a mess our lives turned out to be / it was at its best when you and I were only three
27 Humming
28 Millionaire say / got a big shot deal
29 Gentlemen it is my duty / to inform you of one beauty
30 I'm so happy / cuz today i found my friends - Nirvana - Lithium
31 I never thought / I'd die alone - Blink 182 - Adams Song
32 She gave you everything she had - Garbage - Cherry Lips

A very pointless post

2008-09-23T06:58:42Z

So, how about that weather?

Those of you in Wellington should be feeling that wind today - its finally living up to its 'windy' moniker. Whats so great about this is its like one of my favorite types of weather. Conditions, as the flight of the conchords say, are perfect.
nice and strong, relatively even gusts
cool, but not so cold you'll get sick
a lack of little particles in the wind to get in the eye

maybe its a bit unorthodox, but its cheered me right up.

Circle of disrepair

2008-09-20T03:31:04Z

I don't use my car much - there isnt really any need - most places i go are within walking distance, or at least bussing distance.
As a result, the battery tends to drain a bit. its happened a few times before.

But its playing hardball this time... The battery won't charge seperately, nor will my car co-operate and allow itself to be be jump-started.

Which means i probably need to buy a new battery, or perhaps some other component.
Which will be expensive and hard to justify given how little i use my car.

mmm. self perpetuating...
I hates it

Mouth Words

2008-09-18T10:33:06Z

Hey everyone, its me again

For some reason, I decided to try and post more. Probably for my own benefit, i dunno who actually reads this. Maybe its just so I can read it again in a few years time and see how much i've [hopefully] grown.

Had a good week last week, as i'm sure i've said.
Thought positive things about this one... which is a pity, as its pretty much dragging out into mediocrity.
At least i'm not depressed, but i would like to be happy like last week.

I think i've identified my problems:
1) work
Its just not enough. Seriously, its like i have a part time job, with full time hours. I can get everything done in the morning, and then basically putz about in the afternoon. Which is fine, except i really don't want to look like i'm slacking off.
I like the job, but theres just nothing else to do. I've taken to reading programming books in my off time to try and make me capable of handling a wider variety of tasks... but i dunno how successful that will be...

2) my father
I think of myself as my own person - independant from my parents and all. I dunno how true this is though. I had a couple of drinks with my father because he was up yesterday, and I just came away with the feeling he expected more of me...
I'm [mostly] [generally] happy with my situation, but how do i explain it to him? why do i even care?
I dunno.

Well, yeah, like i said, maybe its just for me, but if you read this, feel free to give me your thoughts.

retro memery

2008-09-12T10:01:48Z

Snagged from: Myself, back in September 2005

i've been reading my own archives, marveling over the things i forgot about my own life, and being weirded out by the ghosts of thoughts and emotions long past.
But I came across this meme, the theme of which is remembering my past. Its been three years [almost to the day], so its valid again - and hey, treat it like revision, if i swot up on my history maybe i wont forget it again eh?

15 years ago, I:
1. Was 8
2. Went to Clyde Primary School
3. Wanted to rule the world when I grew up
4. Was Friends with Daniel, Daniel and Kris
5. Climbed the walnut tree in the schoolyard

10 Years Ago, I:
1. Was just finishing my first year of highschool
2. Made fun of Ian because he was australian
3. Almost got in trouble for going exploring on a school camp and accidentally ending up behind the girls cabins
4. Began singing lessons
5. Struggled to interact with the new friends my old friends from primary school had made in the intervening year

5 Years Ago, I:
1. Was coming up to my second round of university exams
2. Helped Stacey chase down Duncan so we could put black lipstick on him
3. Started wasting my money on Magic: the gathering
4. Got paranoid about my family after an earthquake
5. Had a snow-fight with nicola, and fought dirty

3 Years Ago, I:
1. Took this for the first time
2. Was fighting for carthage when I could
3. Struggled with a large window to find a way to set out my room
4. Was in what I still consider to be the best game I've been in
5. Was hit on by a german women in a pub

2 years ago, I:
1. Got my hands on 'skinned' black foam which i used to approximate leather in armor
2. Played multiplayer computer games with my flatmates
3. Dyed my hair blue a second time
4. Spent even more time on chambers st
5. Said farewell to a good friend

1 Year Ago, I:
1. Complained that my postgrad experiment didnt really interest me
2. Was too busy to make the most of a good situation
3. Lived in the suburbs
4. Had my heart broken for the first time
5. Discovered the peninsula

Yesterday, I:
1. Read a book at work
2. Danced Ceroc
3. Realized that I actually cant not stare at cleavage
4. Resolved to practice until I can
5. Had a plan to better myself

Today, I:
1. Promised I'd write some code when I got home [I havn't]
2. Realized how badly my mental timeline of my life is
3. Tried to skew a business discussion in ways that would help me drink in November
4. Played charades
5. Bought some apples

Tomorrow, I:
1. Am going polish folk dancing
2. Am also going to a party
3. Should practice the penny whistle
4. Should eat a home-cooked meal...
5. Hope to enjoy myself

Top 5 bands/musicians I listen to lately:
1. Our lady Peace
2. Incubus
3. System of a Down
4. Assorted irish music I originally found for my mother
5. Red Hot Chili Peppers

3 Bad Habits I Have
1. Getting Distracted/Not following through
2. Putting off looking after my health
3. lack of confidence

3 Places I've Lived:
1. Newtown, Wellington (must nearly be every possible place there by now)
2. Queen Street, Dunedin
3. Braewview Crescent, Dunedin

3 Funniest Things That Happened This Week:
1. Watching Mammu try to be civilised and/or sane in a public resturant
2. That picture of the large hadron collider with the guy who looks like gordon freeman from halflife
3. Bridget photoshopping James face onto a picture of ceiling cat, so that it could be stuck on the ceiling above his desk

My Top 3 Biggest Worries at the Moment:
1. That I may have done permanent damage to my knee
2. That I may be laid off from work just because the economy is down
3. That I might lose my memories, which I guess are how I choose to measure my milestones in life

My Biggest Joy at the Moment:
- The headrush I get when I can almost see how everything in life is linked to each other and how much there is to see, do and understand

If you got this far, and want to learn about me more [for some reason], you can contrast and compare to my last lot of answers

ayeristheunsane @ 2008-09-11T23:47:00

2008-09-11T11:38:07Z

So, As one does (usually once a year, maybe as part of a new years resolution) I've been trying to make the most of life lately... or at least feel like I am.
Its going well - I'm feeling weird again, but its a good weird, not at all like my usual depression weird. The only thing I can think of to call it is Potential.

Anyway, I was discussing with the lovely Heidi about outlooks on life, and I got thinking of 'rules to live by'. I've been ruminating [in public too!] about it for a few days now, and I think that the rules I choose to live by until I forget about them are as follows

1] Never do anything just because it is the simplest option

2] If you are in doubt over what to do in a situation, try to work out what Peter Dearden* would do (WWPDD?)

3] The choices you make are yours alone. Your reasons are your own. But never regret anything

Now all I need to do is live by them, and see how it works out...

*If you've never sat through a lecture taught by Dearden this may be lost on you. Your loss.

Victory is...

2008-09-09T06:50:07Z

a day when:
» everything makes sense
» I am reminded that people are my friend even if I don't see them regularly
» I realize a new truth about myself
» I can laugh at myself for being silly
» its spring enough for me to feel full of unbridled potential
» I have a plan for that potential
» I have enough money in my food budget to make crumble for dessert

today was a victorious day

I hope everyone else had one too

ayeristheunsane @ 2008-09-07T12:38:00

2008-09-07T00:31:28Z

I have nothing important to say, but needed to make a noise
thank you for listening

Overly complicated automata FTW

2008-09-03T01:38:16Z

SCIENCE!

2008-08-27T05:05:16Z

Maybe you've seen it before, but if not [or if you want to again], i highly reccomend you take a gander at the annals of Improbable Research.
Its the same guys who do the Ig Nobel Prizes each year, and you can read through their bi-monthly publications for free online.

Giving you access to a wide range of topics, from 'Family Trees for Clones', to 'The Sleep-Retardant Properties of My Ex-Girlfriend'.
In fact, I highly reccomend you read the paper on 'Postal Experiments'.

Anyway, these have filled in a good amount of time at work, so as far as i'm concerned, they're a winner.

...

2008-08-20T04:02:17Z

This will pretty much reinforce any sort of prudish image you have of me,

but I have to say, being the only guy in the office while a heated debate over the boobs on bikes parade rages [and has raged for the past half hour], makes me feel pretty awkward...
Also very glad I have a workstation in a far corner and can easily not get involved...

memery

2008-08-15T06:17:21Z

Bandwagon time!

Reply to this post and I will post a picture of someone that reminds me of you - it might be a fictional character, celebrity or historical figure or someone else. Then repost this in your own LJ so you can do your own friends.

bear in mind I may not have net accesss till monday, so be patient when waiting for a response

ayeristheunsane @ 2008-08-11T16:15:00

2008-08-11T04:19:33Z

No one cares, but my average is down to 24.7

ayeristheunsane @ 2008-08-03T15:14:00

2008-08-03T03:08:16Z

God, why wont anything ever work out the way I plan?

eh

2008-07-31T01:43:36Z

Hey look, i'm at work. I need information from christchurch, and our networks all congested. Yay for faux-free time!

in other news, flathunting sucks.
Seriously, this is the 6th time i've done it this year [ok, fine, 6th time i've moved, some of those I moved into an established flat, but still...], and its still just as stupid and awkward and stressful as the first time.

anyway,
Three names you go by:
* Cameron
* The other son
* Cam

Three screen names you've had:
* Ayeristheunsane
* Carthagenian
* Captain James Haggis

Three physical things you like about yourself:
* Eyes
* Nose
* Voice

Three parts of your heritage:
* Irish
* Scottish
* probably English

Three things that scare you:
* Death
* Uncertainty
* Wasps

Three every day essentials:
* Wallet
* Phone
* Inhalers

Three things you are wearing right now:
* Black pants
* Black top
* Blue Glasses

Three of your favorite bands/musical artists:
(According to my playlist history)
* Tag: British
* Tag: similar to Evanescence
* Tag: similar to Silly Wizard

Three of your favorite songs:
(Three I've enjoyed enough to learn the title of in the past week)
* Hoobastank - Don't tell me
* Leave's Eyes - Norwegian Love song
* Jimmy Nail - Aint no doubt

Three things you want in a relationship:
* love
* trust
* companionship

Two truths and one lie (In no particular order):
* I'm doing fine
* I'm feeling fitter
* I miss people at the moment

Three physical things about the preferred sex that appeal to you:
* Sensibility
* Eyes
* Scent

Three of your favorite hobbies:
* Gaming
* Reading
* Thinking of other hobbies I could take up, but never doing so...

Three things you want to do really badly right now:
* A flat
* To know what I want
* Superpowers - particularly dealing with space/time distortion

Three careers you're considering/have considered:
* evil overlord
* self sufficient amish-style farmer
* broken corporate drone

Three places you want to go on vacation:
* Scandanavia
* Peru
* Antarctica

Three kid's names you like:
* Ceilidh
* Jeremy
* Valerie

Three ways you are stereotypically a girl:
* Don't like to get my hands dirty
* Can't complete a sentance without contradicting myself
* I am vain

Three ways you are stereotypically a boy:
* I lieks the ladies
* I will bury emotions rather than deal with them
* I prefer pants to skirts [except kilts, but they're masculine anyway]

For thought

2008-07-22T09:05:00Z

I read somewhere that the most stressful things you can do in life are move house, start a new job, and go through a break-up.

This year, since moving to Wellington, I have done one of these things on average every 25.25 days.

Insane...